I learned that my favorite tree would be demolished as part of my university’s remodel. I was devastated. During my first year of graduate school, in the thick of a global pandemic, I spent many hours with this tree; it kept me company in a time of extreme isolation and uncertainty. The tree, unlike most others on my campus, was planted by a guerilla gardener, and not officially part of my university’s ecosystem. I felt kinship with this rogue transplant. Missing my home, family, pets, friends, and gay bar, I crafted a performance ruminating on loss and time. During the performance I stitched fallen leaves from the tree and its surrounding vegetation onto the garments of my audience. Audience members were instructed to pick a leaf off the ground. They then instructed me where on their clothing they would like the leaf affixed. Using a bright green thread, I carefully stitched around the border of the leaf until it was secured to the garment. The participant then responded to one of the following prompts:

WHO/WHAT/WHERE DO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME/ WITH?

WHAT/HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU’RE TOGETHER?

WHAT/HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU’RE A/PART?

WHO/WHAT/WHERE DO YOU WISH YOU HAD MORE TIME/ WITH?

I kept their written responses and, using a laser engraver, etched them onto panes of glass which were incorporated into sculptures made from a collection of twigs and branches. My intention was for my participants to allow the leaf to dry out and fall off on its own, with the lingering green stitching serving as a reminder of the performance, the tree, and its life. I made this performance to engage my audience with loss in a time where we were experiencing it on a massive global scale. Besides the loss of human life, I wanted participants to contemplate the loss of closeness, space, touch, and other things that we often take for granted. I have since been informed that new plans have been made for the remodel, leaving the tree in place.

This performance was dedicated to my Mommy, Daddy, Brother, Mommaw, Poppaw, Cookie, Roscoe, Kristyn, Paul, Amy, Ruth, Melissa, Crossings, the Bar Complex, and Kentucky.