Commissioned for the first edition of Pi*llOry, a queer performance event, I wanted to created a piece that dealt with queer shame and the abject.

watershed

noun

wa·ter·shed

\ ‘wȯ-tər-ˌshed, ‘wä-\

Definition of watershed

1 : a crucial dividing point, line, or factor : TURNING POINT

2a : a region or area bounded peripherally by a divide and draining ultimately to a particular watercourse or body of water

2b : DIVIDE sense 2a

I sit in a chair that is draped with cloth, wearing only a pair of white briefs. Every twenty minutes I stand up, walk to the window, drink a glass of water and then sit down again. The performance continues for a duration of three hours.

As the performance wears on I become acutely aware of my body’s relationship with water and the water passing through it. I feel myself sweat. I feel the fullness of my bladder. I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

Accompanying this, I feel emotions of shame and regret. These feelings intensify in unison with the fullness of my bladder. After a time I can’t help but urinate. As the urine vacates my body my negative emotions are flushed out as well. I feel still and peaceful.