Dear R.

I’m leaving you this note cuz I gotta leave something. I’m taking everything else. J’s done lost it, and we’re leaving in a half hour. Don’t know where to. I’ll call you from the road, but don’t tell mom. I’ll call her soon enough. I’ll come for you as soon as I can, promise. And I promise to pay you back every cent. Pinky swear. I’ll send you postcards once J and I land, but not at home. I’ll figure where to send ‘em. Don’t tell. I love you, and I promise, I’m gonna make good of all this bad, and then I’m gonna get you.”

excerpt from “Postcards from the Rearview Mirror”

“Postcards from Rearview Mirror” is an electric guitar concept album / performance. It tells the story of two queer teens who escape the violent lives of their Florida homes for the bright lights of Hollywood. Told exclusively by a teen narrator, it details the story of her lover in a series of monologues written as postcards home to the narrator’s younger sister. The nine monologues are interspersed with songs of desire, hope, revenge and heartbreak.

I initially conceived “Postcards” as a radio musical. The album itself has guitars, bass, drums, melodica, organs, and a variety of soundscapes under the monologues. However, shifting this to live performance, I then developed it to include abstract videos for stage performance. The videos were conceived and developed by myself and video artist Anna Hovhannessian. From high art imagery, such as the amorphous shifts of red food dye in water, to expressive lips smeared with lipstick singing of deceit, the nine videos visually score the emotional arch of the piece.

For me, “Postcards” is an exploration of vulnerability, identity, and the rawness that comes from one’s first queer heartbreak. Growing up in an age where queerness wasn’t accepted, or even talked about, I remember the thrill, confusion, and tragedy that can come with your first love. I wanted to explore how these emotions form our identities, and how we keep these quiet stories inside each of our hearts.