These three spinning tops are the separated parts of my cosmogram—a mapping of my spiritual universe. Each spinning top is represented by a color and number. The largest is correlated to the color red and the number seven, the medium sized is associated with the color blue and the number four, and the smallest is paired with the color yellow and the number three. This cosmogram discusses the large scale experiences of humanity including past, present, future; a sense of presence, and the inevitability of both failure and growth. Between myself and the tops there is a play of power. I allow the top to spin but the top decides how difficult they are to turn, how long they will rotate, and how they stop. When one stops only I can let it begin again—and so goes the tumultuous relationship between the self and the universe.

Lightly and carefully I step into the space. I find myself in an open room with a set of three spinning tops. My steps are slow and my eyes wide, glistening with anticipation—I perform an unsure observation of the objects before me. According to each object’s number I begin to walk quickly and nervously around each of the tops, and then proceed to cautiously bring my hand to the wood. I find my nails scratching at their sides and I bring my ear close to listen. Each interaction becomes more intimate as eventually I am moving with them, my arms and torso following their swayed movements, and I am spinning them with vigorously shifting hands as if a fire is being started. After slamming the tops with resentment, apologetically dancing with them, and forcing them into my temporal control, I discover the connection between the three tops and drag them into a linear or interlocked position so that a numerical format that is 3+4=7 can be clear.

My time with them is complete for now. Eyes glued to the tops in their new formation, I step slowly back into the direction I came, finally releasing my gaze and, for a time, moving forward.