“E.V.O.L.” explored responsibility in the face of romantic attachment or love. It speaks of the necessity to try even when you will inevitably fail. It also addresses the many factors that influence an individual, that influence our livelihood, and, therefore, our ability to love well.

At the crux of my performance I climbed up a wall in heels and a broken skirt. Standing up, I leaned backwards until my hands touched the ground, palms on the floor. Then I began my many attempts to use the wall to get myself into a handstand, which I could not do. My friend Jax was in the audience and she kept offering to help but I refused until the very end, by which point I was too exhausted from my previous efforts.

The week prior I had seen Garbage and Blondie in concert, so for my opening songs I chose “Call Me” by Blondie and “Suffocate Me” by Angelfish, the first band fronted by Shirley Manson, which references the Blondie song. I was fascinated by the contrast between Manson singing lyrics someone else wrote inspired by her idol, and her performance two decades later opening for Blondie, this time singing her own words and being an icon in her own right. Both songs explored themes of desire, infatuation, love, and fulfillment. I handed out pink flashcards to the audience.

As the music played, I arranged thumb tacks around the perimeter of the room, facing up. When it was over I began reciting dialogue from the most recent Game of Thrones episode, where Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow finally meet face-to-face for the first time. This was a long awaited moment for the fandom (or maybe just myself), given the romantic potential between the two. In the scene Jon Snow struggles to explain to Daenerys the necessity of her help in saving the kingdoms. The two engage in a power struggle as their attraction to each other slowly begins to manifest. In my dialogue, I was both Daenerys and Jon Snow.

After my last attempt at the handstand, I asked the audience to read from the cards I gave them and implored their thoughts on fame and love while blowing up and popping balloons filled with glitter. At the end of “E.V.O.L” the floor was littered with purple glitter and I was sweaty and tired.