Solo performance with recorded tape (audio guide), plaster mask and museum guard uniform. The museum guard has been an essential fixture of the art museum from past to present. They are ubiquitous and largely invisible while simultaneously being highly visible in the gallery. Unwittingly, they frame and create the museum visitor’s experience. With this performance, I suggested that the guard be considered the art of the museum. Masked (in a mask I created which allowed me only to see—my mouth was sealed) and uniformed as a BMA museum guard, I offered lessons in self-defense with a pre-recorded audio guide. In this scenario, where the museum guard is at once the art and the guard, it seemed important to me that the art in the museum practice self-defense. This performance lasted approximately five hours.