A comment on the oneness of consumption and pollution, the ways in which we use shopping culturally as a means of distraction and catharsis in the face of crisis and how we misrecognize the state of the macrocosm based on the state of our personal microcosms. I found myself a nice, grimy spot in a high traffic shopping area and performed a continual series of awkward headstands on top of a “Betsy Ross” American-flag-style caftan and a cardboard sign reading “Fukushima Keeps Me Shopping.” Ultimately, I pissed myself.