Hi, I’m Angela Washko. I was an artist… but in my new life, I’m a self-employed data analyst of Patti Stanger and her reality television show Millionaire Matchmaker. I consider myself a disciple in the “gospel of Patti” (I may have coined this term). After watching six full seasons of Millionaire Matchmaker and creating thorough databases from patterns in the show, I came up with an analytic formula for women looking to land rich, successful husbands above all else.

Forget personal success (you definitely don’t want to compete with your man), your alternative edge, the color pink and definitely your blue eyeshadow! Find your inner big tits (or a push-up bra), great ass, family values, desire to have children, spirituality and long-straight-brown hair. Get your head in the game, girl! I’ve got all you need to land that highly deserving and immensely discerning millionaire man you’ve always dreamed of in this performance series.

“Millionaire Worthy” began as a research project during which I watched all of the existing episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker and analyzed exactly what values were being communicated to its viewership. I made spreadsheets and graphs detailing what traits men on the show state that they are looking for in women and what the host finds unacceptable about the women she denies opportunities to date these men. Performing as analyst and (un)qualified authority, I attempted to embody Patti Stanger’s teachings, the impossibility of which is made clear by highly contradictory data.

The first live performance in this ongoing project took the form of a pseudo self-help lecture for a seated audience and occurred in conjunction with the Brooklyn International Performance Art Festival at Glasshouse, NYC during July, 2013. In August, 2013 I completed a second live performance in the form of a hybrid exercise video and advice session, featuring a workout by my very first initiate, Caitlin Foley. I performed this in Los Angeles over a webcam and transmitted it to the performance exhibition “gURLs” at Transfer Gallery, NYC. I completed a third webcam performance for Nuit Blanche in Toronto. Following these three live performances, I’ve recently started a video series and public access television series based around performances by the character, as it makes the most sense to me to re-insert the embodiment of the values of Millionaire Matchmaker back into the land of channel surfing from whence I originally found it.